The Ritchie Memoirs.

2 years later

2010-06-10T14:20:00.003+09:00

Wow! Completely forgot about this thing. Again.

Much has happened since the last post.
One of the native teachers went back to Australia with his family and in his place we were blessed with a Canadian. Let's refer to him as Bob.
Bob was a great chap. He used to bring homemade lunches to work. These culinary delights consisted of alot of spices and kimchi. Kimchi is a Korean dish made from pickled or fermented vegetables, typically cabbage. It stinks. It really, really stinks. He was also very great at making dialogues for our listening tests. He came up with some classics like "shinglebin" and "skinkansplin." It's a bit of an inside joke.
Well anyways he worked for us for a year and then went home to become a firefighter, or something.
This April we got another new teacher from Canada, lets call her Clara.
First impressions of her are great. It's certainly very different having a female on staff considering we've been a boys only club for a while now. I've noticed that the amount of flatulence being produced audibly is on the decrease, which is a good thing mind you.

Well i can't be bothered writing anymore. I wanna look at some more pictures of the iPhone 4.
Here's a photo of some playing cards i confiscated a while ago.

Yay new post!!

2008-05-23T15:54:00.006+09:00

Wow, I completely forgot about this thing.

Anyways time for some updates. The new school year has begun and things are going pretty smoothly so far. I don't have any shitty classes, just a few forgettable ones. I really don't like teaching 202. They are so damn quiet. I feel like a comedian in the middle of a dreadful routine. I'm just waiting for the students to start heckling me and throw overripe fruit and vegetables. Especially tomatoes. People always bring tomatoes.

I only teach 2 first year classes this year, which is a bit disappointing. I like teaching the first years, they're easily impressed. Instead i teach the third years listening. Now teaching listening is a piece of piss but it's not really that fun. Hell, if its not fun for me imagine what it's like for the students. Poor buggers. Sux to be them. HAHHA

Oh yeah. The other day there was a tanuki sighting at our school. A tanuki is a raccoon dog. We had a little bit of free time so we did some research. A tanuki is more closely related to a dog than a raccoon. They are native to China, Korea and Japan. They eat all kinds of shit from bugs to seeds and flowers. Tanuki's are wussy animals and prefer to run away than fight. Anyways the tanuki we had at school looked nothing like this picture. I didn't see him but he looked like he was on his death bed. He was all mangey looking and looked like he welcomed the trip to Tanuki heaven. Or Tanuki hell, if he was a naughty Tanuki. So all the best Mr. Tanuki. I hope you things turn out well for you.

The baton twirling music has started again. It may be a remix CD though. Regardless it's still shit.

We started our interview tests the other day. It went ok. The crap students did crap and good ones did good. I mean, well. The dvd for this semester is Edward Scissors hand. I remember watching that movie back when it was a new release video!! I freaked me out back then. I may have to borrow the DVD later, Tim Burton rocks.

No beer tonight it seems. Thomas rode his bike and Geoff has to go to the hospital and Justin is too busy listening to baton twirling music.
Tis' a shame. Today was a good day to go for a beer. I may have to improvise.

It's been a while

2008-01-25T16:04:00.000+09:00

Had a bit of free time so i thought i'd update my blog.
Well it's been over a month and Christmas has come and gone. It is now really cold and being from Australia i really hate the cold. No, i loathe the cold. Apparently the secret to surving the cold here is to wear scarves, mufflers, scufflers whatever you call them. I've never been a scarf person and i've yet to apprehend the mindset of a scarf wearer, so i am reluctant to wear one. I got pretty close to wearing one today but i chickened out coz i thought i looked like a pompous fool. Maybe next time.
Oh yeah, work. Well classes are going smoothly i guess, this semester is really short and we have had quite a few non teaching days. This is good obviously because we dont have to teach but it's also bad coz we have to cram lessons together for the classes that are behind. I hate doing it coz generally my lessons blow whenever i try to rush through all the material.
We did the secret santa thing last year too. I got this lovely mug and mitten keychain. They have "My favorite mitten!" written on them. Aint that cute. The mug also says "Sweet & Warm." Clearly that means i have an admirer round here. I hope it's a female admirer.
Gus has looked better. His fronds are a little yellow but he's starting to sprout new shoots. I think the secretaries took care of him/her/it during the winter holidays. If it weren't for them he would've been compost.
G is a little sick. I can't remember the last time i had a cold. I think i'm on some kind of record. He better not pass on his cold coz i'll be a little perturbed.
I ate a small apple pie for afternoon tea. It wasn't too bad but it really needed some ice cream to go along with it. Maybe next time.....

Testing 1 2 3 Testing

2007-12-12T09:19:00.000+09:00

We're right in the middle 1st year tests so i have a lot of free time. 2nd years finished last week and all the tests have already been marked and entered in the computer. They all did pretty well. I reckon i gotta make it a bit harder next semester.
Oh and my favorite miserable brothers Youhei and Eiji got 14 and 17 on the test. Out of 64. A monkey would've done better than Youhei. No discredit to the monkey.
There were a few true or false questions but i still left 4 choices to choose from, y'know to check if the kids we're paying attention. Naturally my boys chose 'c' and 'd'. Invalid choices of course.

To keep myself occupied at work I've been doing a bit of reading and making Simpson avatars . I think the one i made of Trev is the best.

Gus is doing well. His foliage is turning a little yellow i just think he needs more sunlight or water or perhaps a combination of both.

We've got our Christmas party on Saturday. I'm really looking forward to eating some turkey. Should be good. I still gotta buy some presents for it though and i don't have any concrete ideas. Bugger.

Well i think i'm gonna get back to some reading. Will is cooking Lyra an omelette and i wanna know how it turns out.

Asparagus and Apple Pie

2007-11-06T14:16:00.000+09:00

It's been a while coz I've been really busy. And slack.
Theres only a few weeks left of classes to go and that's it for the year. Australia here i come!! None of this poxy winter shit for me.
But before holidays i gotta finish writing the listening test for the second years. I've kinda started but i have a lot to go. Then we gotta record the bugger. All before the 19th! Crap! I gotta stop blogging all the time.
Oh yeah, I've got a new addition to my desk. I call him Gus. He's an Asparagus plant. His soft feathery leaves help me to relax and reduce stress. It's a bit of a big commitment but i hope i can give him all the water and nutrients that he needs.
Well I'm gonna do a bit of work now so then i can reward myself with some apple pie.
Yes!

4 day weekend baby!!

2007-10-04T18:07:00.000+09:00

Well today is Friday. Well technically it's Thursday but i dont have to work tomorrow. Plus i dont have to work on Monday coz its a public holiday. Know what that means? 4 day weekend!!!! WOOOOOOOO!!!
I'm finally gonna have time to play heaps of Halo 3. Ahem....
Nothing much happened this week. Monday i did yoga for the first time as favour for a friend. I pulled both my calf muscles and yelled alot of swear words. I may have frightened the other students in doing so. Oh well. I must say i got pretty damn sweaty, much more than i anticipated.
Work seemed to feel extra slow this week. Dunno why. Just was. I had a couple of shocker lessons too. Well not really bad lessons, just really crap and odd students. I've got this one boy who is year 10. He points at me and says "you're cool." Now, i'm not going to argue with him but he doesnt need to do it every 5 mins. I can also do without the staring at my crotch too.
Then there is Youhei. He is a year 11. He failed Oral English last year. He is miserable in every sense of the word. However, he has nice hair. Today he was in class and i told him to copy what was on the board. He had no pencils or pens so he used his lovely set of crayons. MOTHER FUCKING CRAYONS!! He was so slow in reading the blackboard so i tried dictating to him. I said, "He is the man who ......." He wrote, "He is the man food......." in jumbo incomprehensible blue crayon which took up the entire span of the worksheet. I had a good laugh. Now, im not a bad person but cmon, what teenager doesnt bring pens to school only crayons?
Anyways, I'm home now drinking a beer. I've got Japanese class in an hour. I really don't wanna go.
Maybe i should wag it. Or bring my crayons.

First Day Back

2007-09-03T16:24:00.000+09:00

Well after a nearly 2 month break I'm back at work. Summer vacation was pretty sweet. I went to The Philippines for 2 weeks which was pretty damn cool. Beer was so damn cheap over there and the weather was much more comfortable. Unfortunately the beaches i went to were pretty crappy. Imagine the barren landscape of the moon but with water. That's the beach at Leyte. The beach i went to at Cebu was a little better and i did some jet skiing there which was bloody fun.
After i got back to Japan i went to an Onsen in Gero which was very relaxing. And i went rafting somewhere in Gifu. The weather that day was perfect but the actual rafting wasnt as good as last time. Afterwards we had a bbq and consumed shit loads of beer whilst having a little swim in the river. It was great. Even though i left my old rebooks there.
Also i did a bit of study. I had 2 hour Japanese lessons 2 times a week. It was pretty intensive but i dont know if it was productive or not. Maybe i shouldve done all my homework.
Work today was pretty cruisy. I think i lost 5 kilos during opening ceremony, taught 1 class and ate cup noodle for lunch.
Man i forgot how much i hate cup noodle.....

Long time no blog post.

2007-06-22T15:23:00.000+09:00

Yeah i've been a little slack recently (but i like to call that being too busy). So what's happened recently? Not much! I've finished writing the 2nd Year's test. I think its quite challenging and I'm looking forward to how many students fail it. Muahhahaa.
All that's left to do with it is record the dialogues. We did a bit yesterday. It was pretty damn fun. Tell ya the truth i think i have a good radio voice. That would be a fun job i reckon, a radio announcer. Having your voice on the air, brainwashing people with your stupid opionions and mindless drivel. I can surely do that.
The weather is rather shit today. Apparently the rainy season starts today. They said it started last week but they kinda jumped the gun so they changed it. It's been raining all day so good thing i brought my super expensive 1000 yen designer umbrella. Problem is i didnt wear my good shoes so my damn feet are gonna get wet. BAH! Curse you mother nature! And puddles!!!
We're supposed to be having a small barbie on Sunday. I hope it doesn't rain.
Man my eyes are heavy right now, I need to go buy something to wake me up. Cucumber Pepsi anyone?

Baton twirling music makes Jason go crazy.

2007-06-12T16:06:00.000+09:00

After clicking on the damn link to post a new blog entry about 50 times, it finally worked!
Anyways, the weather today is beautiful. Right now theres a lovely breeze coming through the window behind me. It is pleasant.
Also, outside the window behind me are the baton twirlers practicing what baton twirlers do best. Thats right! Twirling!!! However they are practicing to one piece of music which is in a continous loop. This music is having some kind of negative effect on Jason. I fear for his and my own safety.
Moving along, the last couple of days i've been working on the final semester test. It's coming along tediously.
Oh. The baton music just stopped. Yay!!
One of my students today refused to work with a boy. Weird thing is she worked with him for the past 6 weeks. Maybe someone has been spreading bad rumours about him. Bad cootie rumours. Poor guy. Don't worry Masahito. I still think your hair is cool.

Man i'm knackered

2007-06-08T16:15:00.000+09:00

I'm really tired. Today was really busy and im hungry coz i didnt eat all of my yucky bento.
My first two classes went really smoothly. I was impressed by my 1st year class (I should give them more credit really) but the 2 classes after lunch really drained me. I really use too much Japanese in those classes but it cant be helped. They're not exactly the sharpest tools in the shed. And I'm not just talking about their English ability.
The other day i started the to make the end of semester test for the 2nd years. Hopefully it should be done by Wednesday but reallistically it wont be done by then.
Oh i also bought my wombat to school. Just for something to throw around in class. Her name is Sydney.

Testing 123. Testing...

2007-06-01T15:53:00.000+09:00

All the interview tests are done! Hurrah!! No more asking "Have you ever" questions. Today was pretty tough with 6 classes needing to be tested. I haven't done that kind of work, since, well ever at this school! Tough stuff indeed.
For lunch i bought the bento. It was fried salmon with heaps of other queer looking side dishes. Beans, sausages and eggs mixed together and maybe bamboo was in there too. Still it wasnt that bad. Fridays may now become bento day.
Nothing else really special happened today. Glenn has been busy writing emails to people and Jason has been looking for some nice restaurants in Sakae. Trev actually had to do some teaching today as well as interview tests. HaHHAHAHA. Sucked in.
Hmm i might go for a walk around the school now. Check out the clubs and whatnot. If i can be bothered. Heh.

Test Week

2007-05-29T16:12:00.000+09:00

All this week the kids are doing their interview tests. Things have been going pretty smoothly though. The interviews are only 3 mins long so they go by really quickly.

Good things is we get to watch a dvd during the interview. Yesterday was Raiders of the Lost Ark and today was Temple of Doom ("no time for love Doctor Jones") and Charlie and the Chocoloate Factory. The kids really enjoyed Charlie though. It kinda gets old after watching the same first 50 mins for the 4th time though.

Lunch was a kind of satay pork thingy. Not too bad but i didnt like the egg soup thing.

Trevor has been trying to intimidate me with his kung fu moves. Does that class as work place harassment?

How do you spell what?

2007-05-21T16:33:00.000+09:00

Nothing really memorable happened today. All classes went really smoothy. My dodgy class was actually pretty good. It's come to a point where i don't worry about them not wanting to study. Afterall, I can't make them study. I'm just gonna let their test results do the speaking for me.
Speaking of test results, starting tomorrow the kids will be having their mid semester tests. That means Tuesday and Wednesday are gonna be half days! WOOOOOO! Plus i've got Thursday and Friday off! Double WOOOOO!
Lunch was curry again today. Oh and a salad. I didn't eat all of it coz i didnt put enough dressing on it. What's the point of eating a salad when it still tastes like salad? I really need to start experimenting a bit more and try something else. But i'm afraid of change.
Benchtalk was good. We talked about bees and home chemistry kits.
Trevor got a personal best on his bike today. 38 minutes. He told me to put that in. No one round here cares though.

Mr Sleepy

2007-05-18T16:37:00.000+09:00

This morning was great. The first 2 classes went really smoothly and were alot of fun. I really enjoy teaching them and they all have a great attitude towards English.
I had a good feeling about myself.
Lunch time rocked up and i had a chicken with gravy kinda dish. Not too bad. We then sat outside on a bench and talked about various kinds of stuff.
The first class after lunch was kinda shitty, mainly coz of one little prick. He came late to class and his desk looked like a bomb had imploded. He had pencils all over his desk, his gym uniform was sprawled on the floor and he left his psp out. He then proceeded to put his pencils, one by one, into his pencil case. He also refused to go to his designated seat. I tried to confiscate his psp but he got all shitty and mouthed off at me. I backed off and ignored him. He then went to sleep at his desk. The class went really well after that. Little shit.
My last class was great. Fantastic way to end the day.

It`s a キリン!

2007-05-16T16:26:00.000+09:00

Today was rough. I dont care for 201. The majority of the students are slackers who do no work. They had 20 mins to complete an activity and most of the boys only managed to answer 1 question. Good job! *thumbs up*

1 girl is really good but she is dragged down by the mediocrity of the others.

After lunch i had the all girls class 206. The first 5 mins was tough. I asked them all to stand up. Only 1 girl did. Its not like they dont understand "stand up" its just that they dont do anything without the approval of their friends. Seriously ladies, grow a pair. The good thing is when they do get going they're a fun bunch to teach. And キリン is not English girls.

103 is a rowdy class. Lots of talking and lots of doing nothing from one individual. He wrote nothing on his worksheet. I expect him to fail if he keeps this up.

Wednesday shall be the day when i adopt my "cranky" Ritchie persona. Kids, you wont like me when im angry.

Oh and i've got a damn cold. Its not so bad now coz ive been taking medicine. At least the lotion tissues are soothing for my nose.

Hamburger patty sandwich.

2007-05-16T16:11:00.000+09:00

Well i was kinda busy and forgot to write about yesterday. Hmmm let me think. Well my lessons went well. 107 and 105 are really great classes to teach. All the kids are friendly and very positive. Lunch was a disgutingly disguting hamburger patty sandwich. Coz we were late to the cafeteria it was either that or a salad. I shouldve gone with the salad. I really shouldve gone with the salad.
I cant remember what happened after lunch. Nothing too exciting i think.

Case of the Mondays.

2007-05-14T16:46:00.000+09:00

Ah Monday. The start of another work week. Actually i dont mind Mondays and i'm quite sure they dont mind me.
I had my low class today. Seriously, about 75% of them have no idea what i'm saying 95% of the time. I think im developing a dislike for them. Oh well! At least i could eat lunch after the agony.
Speaking of lunch i ate fried pork (maybe) with miso sauce. And then the cafeteria was taken over by ninja pirates!! Only kidding. The lunch was good though. I'll take a photo next time.
The rest of the day i did a bit of studying and imagined what it was like to have shoehorn hands. Sublime.

TGIF!

2007-05-11T16:26:00.000+09:00

Two posts in one day?? Mercy what is this madness?
Well my classes went smoothly. The morning classes are always a pleasure to teach. My third class was cancelled without my knowing so that was a pleasant surprise.
The last class was a little rowdy but they mean well.
I had a chat to one of the my students about the name "Antonio." He told me that he knew 2 Antonio's. The actor and a Pride fighter. It was fascinating. Still i admire his attempt at only using English.
For lunch i had curry with crab croquette thingies. It was ok.
I also went for a little walk round the school. I saw a few students practice what looked like kendo but with longer sticks. And a brief look at the baton twirlers.
I also drank orange juice. Dont believe me? Here is proof..

Rainy Day

2007-05-11T14:14:00.000+09:00

My computer was taken from me so i couldn't write about yesterday.
Sorry to keep you in suspense.
Well yesterday was very rainy so there were no bench visits.
I only taught 1 lesson so the day kinda dragged on and coz i didnt have my computer there wasnt much to do other than study Japanese. I cant remember the last time i did all my Japanese homework. My teacher was pleasantly surprised. I like surprising people.
For lunch i had some kind of fried chicken. It was nice.
It was still raining during home time but luckily i left my umbrella at work so i didn't get wet. Woooo!

First Entry

2007-05-09T16:46:00.000+09:00

This shall be the first of hopefully daily entries.

Today was a little unnerving.
Children lay on floors struggling from heat exhaustion.
A few were wrapped in colorful Disney blankets.
They looked warm and as if Mickey Mouse was giving them a caressing hug.
Classes went well though.